Went back to my novel for the first time in a few weeks yesterday. I've been letting it rest for a while, partly because it needed to rest and partly because I'm intimidated by it and don't quite know what to do with it. I've been writing long enough that I know I need down time on my work. I'll blaze through for quite some time and then grind to a halt. If I try to push myself to write when I don't quite know what to write, I'll just wear down the story like cogs that can't click into place anymore, and I'll end up having to abandon it -- forever or just for the immediate future.
So, I don't feel guilty for dropping the novel for a bit, but it's time to come back to it. I want to finish it, because I like to finish things I start. Plus, I like it. And I have a few agents interested in reading it, so it's foolish not to pursue it. I'm about 150 pages in, and the plot and ending are clear to me, but it's difficult writing.There's a lot of information to be conveyed and the characters are, alternately, crystal clear to me or amazingly obtuse. Any writer knows that feeling: a character who just needs to be pointed in the right (write?) direction and the character who sits there, obstinate, no matter how much you suggest to them that they might like to do, be or feel. "Who created these people?" you think, and then you realize, "Crap, I did."
I think of my writing as part of my creative life that extends to what I make -- food and crafts. I've been thinking a lot about my practice of making things -- what do I want to accomplish, and how can I best do so -- and it's occured to me that my writing and crafting life are in exact opposition. With my writing, I do best with a variety of projects underway --an article, the novel, a play, a comedy bit --so that when I stall on one, I can go to the next. With crafting, it's the exact opposite: I do best when I force myself to return again and again to the one project I'm to be working on. It's the only way I can accomplish anything. In both cases, since I've realized this, I see an uptick in my completion rate, which is great... very satisfying for me, and good for my editors/agent/gift receipients too.
With the novel, I'm just going to keep inching forward, painfully, if need be. I know it's a long road -- I'll finish this first draft and go right back to the beginning for a first edit -- but I know that it will be worthwhile, in the end. Pray for me!
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